The Station

I Am A Target

This arrived at work about a month ago. It is noteworthy that, as far as I know, I am the only employee to receive one. This means that somewhere, out there, someone specifically identified me as someone interested in designing tactical missiles. Life is weird.
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Look Who Came To Visit

Shane and Dan are in town.
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You're Jealous!

A little unexpected fun on the way to San Francisco...
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That's Perfectly Stupid

The other day I saw a link to this product on Amazon. The idea is to freeze the liquid inside the blue plastic and then place it over a fan. At first glance, this looks like a clever invention useful for cooling your house on a warm summer afternoon. However, this is not case.

True, the air in the room is cooled by convection when the fan pushes it past the ice. However, to make the ice, a nearby refrigerator will likely be used to transfer heat out of the water. This heat is expelled by the refrigerator back into the room. Assuming a perfectly efficient refrigerator, all this "cooling" device does is move heat around, not eliminate it. Of course, we all know that the second law of thermodynamics does not allow for the possibility of a perfectly efficient refrigerator, so we must conclude that the fridge must expel more heat to the room than simply that which is removed from the ice. Also, consider the added heating of the air due to the turbulence introduced by a fan. So, all things considered, this device will actually warm its environment.

Still, the moron that designed this thing is making a profit. That's more than I'm doing with any of my ideas. In fact, the inventor might even know it doesn't work but is just counting on a scientifically ignorant market to buy it. Clever, though not very honorable. Maybe I should oome up with some good ideas and try to sell them. I really hate business, though.
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The Weakest Link

While mountain biking at Palos Verdes the other day, I actually broke my chain on a climb. I was just crankin' up this hill and BOOM!!! Since I was already near the top, I just dowhilled it back to the car with the satisfaction of knowing I'm a muscular beast of a man.
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Seattle

Better than words...

Seattle (Grande) or Seattle (Tall)

Yes, we're awesome.
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Only You

If Smokey the Bear spontaneously combusts in the woods and no one is around to extinguish him, does he start a forest fire?
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Finally, I Can Have A Friend

Saw this in a store window at Mammoth Mountain.
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Merry Christmas

Vision As Clear As A Mountain Sky

Mountains! Mountains are amazing. I could never tire of all their wonders. The towering pines, the stoic rocks, the inspiring wildlife, and the pristine blue canopy above it all. No sir, nothing quite like a weekend in the mountains.

There's just one problem with going to the mountains. Sooner or later, you have to go home. My home, unfortunately, is in one of the ugliest places on God's green earth. It's truly ironic that the beauty of the San Gabriel Mountains is juxtaposed to the cesspool of America, Los Angeles.

It just makes me sad to drive that hour, going from endless green ranges to endless concrete. From a free blue sky scented of pine to a brown sky choked with smog. From God's garden to graffiti.

One day, I won't have to leave the mountains.
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Congratulations John and Masha!!!

Plane Talk

What do you all think about talking to the stranger next to you on an airplane ride? Four hours is a long time to pretend the person next to you doesn't exist, so I would like to know if it's OK to talk to them. I'm especially concerned about women. I'm sure they'll just think I'm some sort of player. Maybe I should just ask them, "I'm really bored, do you mind if I talk to you? Don't worry, I'm not a player; I won't care about you at all once we land."
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Really?

Did you know that Steven Spielberg played the role of the tax assessor in Blues Brothers?

Horses In The City

Even though I can't afford a house in LA, I thought I'd check some of the real estate listings. This one looked good. I was happy to see that the rooms were still alive but disappointed that there was no horse.

Things To Look At

A disturbing sight at the amusement park.

Trouble with hail.

Ha! Look At This!

This arrived in the mail today:

If I had made a list of goals to accomplish while at college, being invited to a sorority crush party would have been one of them. I can't attend, but this does add to the feeling of having had a genuine college experience.
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Rest In Peace, John Paul

For Detecting Extra Large Beta Particles

Right now there is an extremely strange and loud sound coming from my neighbor's apartment. It almost sounds like a Geiger counter, but a very big one. Yes, a Geiger counter as big as a house. Certainly, that must be what's going on.
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Christmas Eve 2004

Sweet dreams, sweeter reality...

Watch Mystery

In early September, I lost my beloved Fossil watch. I meticulously searched both my apartment and my parents' house several times, but the watch remained missing. Conceding that it was gone forever, I got a new one. The new one is exactly the same as the one which went missing (I liked it that much).

Today, after running some errands, I returned to my room at my parents' house to discover the missing watch sitting on my recliner! Eager to find out where and by whom it was found, I questioned the other members of the household.

No one knows anything! That's right, no one found it, no one put it on my chair. Amazing! My watch just takes a four-month hiatus and then returns without anyone knowing anything about it.

This isn't the first time this has happened either. Several things have also gone missing for extended amounts of time. Right now, it's my Christmas music books that have run off.

Maybe in the future, my whole house will disappear. Yes, one day I'll return home and it will have simply vanished. I will ask and people will say, "I haven't seen your house, Brian. Are you sure you even had a house?"
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Happy Great Pumpkin Day!

Have a scary day!
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Trick Question

Yesterday, I recieved an email from Rolls-Royce asking to complete an online survey so that I might be considered for an interview. It was one of those, "What would people say about you regarding..." or "What would you do in this situation..." kind of tests. Usually, I can identify the correct answer, but I tried to be honest. However, the question below bothered me.

Now, certainly in my life there has been a time in which I failed at something. Everyone has failed at something, right? Well, not Jesus. Anyway, I really had to think about this one. The way I see it, there should only be two possible responses: True, False.

If the question were instead, "Do you usually fail at things you attempt?" then the listed responses would be appropriate. However, their use of the word "never" makes this a true/false question.

So I debated for a few seconds (the test was timed). What are they looking for? The question as it was written doesn't really tell the employer anything, so perhaps they meant the other question, which I stated above. Then again, maybe this is a test of answer consistency and I'm supposed to logically deduce that there are only two valid responses. What to do?

In the end, I answered the question as it is stated with the only possible honest response.
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Cookie For Girlfriend

This is Masha's doing. Those four words go a long way in explaining the forthcoming madness.

Friday night, John and Masha came over for a while to visit. When they came in, they sang happy birthday to me and gave me a book and two cookies. Mind, it's not anywhere near my birthday (or even half-birthday), so I was a bit perplexed.

However, the confusion was temporarily pushed aside when I saw the book on crop circles. Did I ever mention I like crop circles? I like crop circles. The book is fantastic.

Turning my attention to the cookies and the accompanying explanation, I once again found myself in wacky land. According to my Russian friend, I'm allowed to eat one of the cookies now, but the other I must give to my girlfriend on our first official boyfriend/girlfriend date. Okaaaaayyyyy...sure, Masha.

The first cookie was delicious. The second cookie is now pinned to my wall. This way it will be within easy reach when that special someone comes along. I also figure it will aid in the wooing process. I can hang out with a girl, get to know her, and if she's not so sure about a relationship, I can just show her the cookie and say, "this will be yours if you will be mine." Nothing like a stale cookie to tip the scales of love in my favor! Mmm!

Man, that first cookie was mighty tasty. Maybe I can real quick find a girl who agrees to be my girlfriend, but doesn't like cookies. Yes, then it will be mine! All mine! Cookiemonster!

Never did find out why the birthday song was sung.
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Legendary Legend

Time to be cheerful and write an amusing entry. Yes, it's time for another urban legend. I think someday I'm going to have to do one that could be true and have folks vote on it's actuallity. This is not that day. On with the legend!

Ever wonder why Zamboni drivers are so happy? I'll tell you why. I recently discovered that when everyone has left the ice rink, the drivers like to amuse themselves by driving the Zambonies across the walls and ceiling of the building. It's like a little club the drivers have, similar to Fight Club. "...The second rule about driving-Zambonies-upside-down club is, YOU NEVER TALK ABOUT DRIVING-ZAMBONIES-UPSIDE-DOWN CLUB!" Yep, it's the truth. I'll explain how it works.

Zamboni machines are designed very carefully to allow them to operate safely on the ice which they resurface. The two main systems responsible for this are the special tires and vacuum assisted downforce. The tires are a microcellular compound that uses it's microscopic crevices to grip roughness in the surface. The tires are a marvel indeed, but they are nothing compared to the capabilities of the Zamboni's vacuum traction system. As you may know, some race cars use vacuum pumps to remove air from under the car to make it grip the road more effectively. What most people don't know is that this technology came from the original Zamboni patent. Most people think the implement that touches the ice only does the resurfacing, but no. In acutallity it vacuum seals the Zamboni to the ice. The upshot of this is absurd tractive abilities not only on ice, but other surfaces as well. Indeed, the traction is so good, that the machine can actually drive onto and stick to vertical and inverted surfaces.

If you've never tried this, sneek into an ice rink at night, fire up their Zamboni and try to drive it onto a wall. Truly, you haven't lived until you experience this!
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Happy Easter!

He is risen!

I'll Be The Idiot Driving The Opposite Direction

You know what I need to get serious about this spring? Storm chasing. I don't want to die not ever having seen a tornado. I'll bet there's lots out here...
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Cookie Tree

I noticed this while walking home from class on Friday. Yes, someone really did wedge a cookie in the branches of that tree.

Christmas Eve

In addition to the Christmas story I posted a few days ago, I think I'm going to upload some photos of our house at Christmas. Here's one I took tonight. Quite fitting for Christmas Eve.

Sponsored by Maroc

How do you know it's time for Clementines in Urbana? When the apartment smells like a citrus grove from Jim's collection of tangerine rinds. I introduced him to a Clementine last year. He reluctantly tried it, and has been a tangerine feind ever since. It wouldn't suprise me if he ate a dozen in one sitting. The empty crates are stacking up.
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Retro

This takes me back to last September...
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A Photo History?

Perhaps I'll do an image of the week kinda thing. Here's one from today on the way to the lab.
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