Sad world: Seattle airport removes Christmas trees to avoid lawsuit
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ATTENTION PEOPLE OF STUPIDLAND, IDIOTVILLE, AND MORONOPOLIS: LEAVE THE UNITED STATES AND RETURN TO YOUR HOME! BRIAN HAWKINS CAN NO LONGER TOLERATE YOUR INFESTATION OF THE MEDIA.
The following are excerpts from a news article about the cancellation of the Discovery launch.
They had come from as far away as California...spending precious vacation time and budgets for a chance to witness history. History?!?!? There's absolutely nothing historical about it. A shuttle is going into space. Nothing remarkable about that; it's been done before, a lot. I should tell these journalists that I brushed my teeth this morning. They'd probably say that's historical, too.
Pauline Trummel...heard the announcement by loudspeaker shortly after 1:30 p.m. -- nearly 10 hours after getting up with her family to stake out a good viewing spot. She held her head in her hands and cried. "I thought we were prepared for everything,"...she said later, as the family prepared to head home. She cried?!?!? She thought of everything?!?!? Well, she certainly should have thought of precedent regarding shuttle launches. Those things are often delayed. Who in their right mind would plan their vacation around something so unpredictable?
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You may have heard on the news yesterday that the pilots of a commercial jet near Cleveland saw a laser light shined into their cockpit. Of course, this is being investigated and it might be serious. However, I have issues with some of the stuff they're saying.
The pilot was able to land the plane, and air traffic controllers used radar to determine the laser came from a residential area in suburban Warrensville Heights.
That's nonsense. You can't use radar to track laser light. Simply impossible. Oh sure, I'd love to call the FBI and ask them exactly how they used radio waves to locate light waves, but somehow I think they're busy inventing other fantastic lies.
Also, it bothers me that Americans aren't really paying much attention to the tsunami tragedy. Remember how we mourned the massive loss of life of 9/11? Well, as of right now, 40 times more people have died as a result of the tsunami, yet it's hardly made an impact. Sure, it isn't in America, and it was a natural disaster, but still...
I should start my own country.
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Commenting on news articles is something I have heretofore restrained myself from doing. This afternoon however, not feeling much restraint. Here's what I read:
The United for Peace and Justice group organizing Sunday's march was denied a permit to rally in Central Park because city officials said a large crowd would damage the grass.
This enrages me. Not because I care (or even know) about the United Peace and Justice group, but rather because of the screaming stupidity of these "city officials." They are denying a crowd their right rally a cause because they're worried about the grass! Come on! Certainly free speech (man, I hate using that terminology) is more precious than a few acres of turf. Even if it is damaged, it would just be a temporary sign of zeal for a cause. Then the grass would repair itself and all would be well.
They certainly wouldn't just be using it as an excuse to stop an unwanted protest. That would be lying.
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Lacking inspiration to write something original, here's something I found in the news:
Last year, five people were slightly injured when a startled cow jumped a fence.
Yup. Also, Shane may have been responsible for the incident.
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